Why Codependent People Choose Complicated Partners

A good, calm partner seems boring. A complicated one feels like home.

You look at your exes and see the same pattern. One drank. Another was drowning in debt. A third couldn’t decide if he even wanted the relationship. A fourth was married. A fifth was treating depression. And each time you told yourself: this time will be different. But it wasn’t.

Why don’t you date calm, caring, predictable people? Why do they seem boring, too plain, “not your type”? While complicated, unpredictable people with baggage—they feel familiar, understandable, like home.