Identity: Who Am I Without All the Roles

Ask almost anyone "who are you?" and you'll get a list of roles: mother, wife, professional, daughter, friend. The roles are real and important, but they don't cover the whole person. When one of them disappears — a job ends, a relationship falls apart, children grow up — it becomes terrifying, as if you yourself have vanished. In reality, it was the role that vanished. Who you are without it is a question you can spend a lifetime answering.

Why roles are not the same as identity

A role is a function in a system: what you do for others and what others expect from you. Identity is how you do it, what you feel, what you choose.