The Parent Who Controls Their Adult Child: What to Do

Calls ten times a day, questions like "where are you and who are you with," advice you can't walk past, and hurt feelings if you did it your own way. Parental control in adulthood feels like someone else's hands on your steering wheel. At the same time, parents themselves are often sure they're caring for you and want what's best. This is worth sorting out on two fronts at once: how to respond to control and how not to turn your life into an endless war with the people close to you.

What control looks like when you're already an adult

Control rarely looks like an order. More often it's questions: "have you eaten yet?", "why didn't you call?", "are you sure that's a good job?" On their own they're harmless, but their number and persistence create the feeling that you're being watched.