How to start setting boundaries without feeling guilty

A boundary is not aggression. But after setting one, you somehow feel the urge to apologize.

You finally said "no." Or told someone they hurt you. Or asked them not to call after ten in the evening. And now you're sitting there, feeling like a criminal. Like you robbed a bank. Like you kicked a puppy. A voice inside is screaming: "What's wrong with you? How could you?"

This is guilt. Guilt over boundaries. It kicks in every time you stop being convenient. It whispers: "Good people don't do this." "Real friends sacrifice themselves." "You're selfish."