The Perfectionist Syndrome in Adult Life

At school everything was clear: there's a task, there's a grade, there's praise. An A meant "you're great," an F meant "something's wrong with you." If you grew up in that logic, it stayed with you into adult life. Only now no one hands out grades anymore.

Perfectionist syndrome isn't a diagnosis. It's a familiar way of living: trying hard enough that there's no reason for anyone to be displeased. Rest is allowed only after everything's done, a mistake feels like a failure, and you need someone else's approval to feel okay.

As an adult this gets in the way more than it helped in childhood: the world doesn't hand out A's, and the demands you place on yourself grow faster than your capacity.