Disorganized Attachment: I Crave Closeness but I'm Afraid of It

When one part of you reaches out to people while another runs from them.

Disorganized attachment is when you simultaneously want and fear something. You crave closeness, but when it appears, you panic. You look for a partner, but when you find one, you start pushing them away. You cry about being alone, but when someone offers support, you shut down.

This is the most trauma-driven attachment style. It forms when the person a child depends on is also a source of fear. The parent who should protect is the one who causes pain. And the child doesn't know where to run: toward the one who hurts, or away from them.