How Parents Undermine a Child's Self-Esteem Without Realizing It

They didn’t mean to break you. They simply didn’t know any other way.

Parents rarely intend to break a child’s self-esteem. Most of the time, they love. Often deeply. But they love the only way they know how. And they know, because that’s what they were taught. If they were taught that a child needs criticism to grow, they criticize. If they were taught that feelings are a sign of weakness, they discourage tears. If they learned that love has to be earned through achievements, they save their praise for the winner.

So the child grows up. Grows up convinced they aren’t good enough. That their worth depends on success. That their emotions don’t matter. That they have to be someone else in order to be loved. And that conviction stays for a lifetime, even long after the parents are no longer around.